A First hand experience of I N C E P T I O N ! ! !

while I was driving long alone at night, on a freeway, after a tiring day, I suddenly had this feeling that I am dozing off and a feeble dream was materializing where in I am lying down on bed on a bright morning. My mind was slowly slipping into a dilemma - what is the reality now? - the picture of me in the bed OR this picture of me actually driving this car now.. It was a dangerous situation. Because I was still driving the car at about 80 mph.

Fortunately, even while the image of me lying on the bed was corrupting my mind and sensibilities, the smart mind told me to keep applying the brakes, so that, in the reality, I would atleast come to a gradual stop or may be, atleast reduce the intensity of an imminent and potentially fatal accident ( head on collision with a truck?!, siderail?!, another speeding car?!). So I kept braking hard and soft so as not to skid. But, though I succeeded in braking, I was not able to fully come back to the real world of the car-night-highway. May be I was too tired from the ordeals of the day and this lonely night at the back of the steering wheel and a calm freeway gave my body the much needed break.. Long drives have this soothing effect on our body and spirituality.

It was a very intense moment.. Now, apart from the imminent danger of an accident, I had another struggle to deal with. I just wanted to be out of this make-believe world of me sitting on the bed. So, once again, I pulled all my resources .. applied my entire concentration and focussed on just one thing - FALL BACK INTO THE REALITY, so that I could take control of the car again(!) and save my life that was left stranded on a highway!

But! after several failed attempts, that dream of me lying down on the bed actually endured the test of time. 

I realized to my utter disbelief, that the dream of me lying down on the bed was actually the reality and the reality of me driving the car was just a dream, from which I was struggling to wake up fully! 

Only thing that remained sober in both the worlds was that I had a tiring day earlier :)

shadow

I am your shadow. The dark thick ugly shadow.

In the light of glee, when you are engulfed in all flashes and light, you won't see the invisible me. But I will exist - exist in nether land, not being noticed, but gratified with your smile.

In your darkest hours, when no one will see you and when you don't see me, I will grow ever so big to dissolve you and your grief in me.

When that narrow burning light tries to torture you, I stare at him, I scare him away - from behind your shoulders, untill he fades away and you are at no harm. But when you turn back, I will be gone..

Never noticed, never complaining, never demanding,
I am your shadow -
I am beside you,
I am part of you,
I am You..

Yaar Yaar Sivam?

A deep understanding of love and its magnitude

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bk3I9Pjhh_E

yaar yaar sivam, nee naan sivam.
vazhve thavam, anpe sivam
who is god? you and me are.
life is a meditation
and love is god!

athiham pesum maniyarkkellam
sivame anpakum
naathikam pesum nallavarukke
anpe sivamakum
for the preists who believe in god,
god is love
for those good non believers
love is god

yaar yaar sivam
nee naan sivam
who is god?
you and me are god

vazhve thavam, anpe sivam
life is meditation
and love is god

idayam enpathe sadayay endral
eruthee venthu vidum
anpin karuvi idayam endral
saavai venthe vidum
if our heart was made of flesh,
it would get cremated one day
if it is made of love
it will grow beyond mortality

yaar yaar sivam, nee naan sivam
who is god, you and i are god

anpin paathai sernthavanukku
mudive illayeda
manathin neelam etho athuve
vaazhvin neelameda
for those who travel on the
journey of love, they have no death
as broad is their mind,
so long will they live..

you fill up my senses

My gratitude to John Denver, for this very rare feeling this song creates in the mind. This song oozes love- its innocense, its madness, its kindness, its strength, its immortality.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1esC0RjV0qw

You fill up my senses
Like a night in the forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again

Come let me love you
Let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your arms
Let me lay down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come let me love you
Come love me again

Let me give my life to you
Come let me love you
Come love me again

You fill up my senses
Like a night in the forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again

just another breathing packet of universe

It was a calm and quite evening. My balcony has a nice view for those days when you want to stare at the endlessness of life. With my feet stretched on the chair, I was talking to one of my friends when we noticed these planes on the horizon. There were five of them at different levels, going in different directions, at different pace. Suddenly something nudged me to think about how each of those empty spaces in sky is suddenly filled with legions of emotions, aspirations, thoughts and dreams as the flights move into them.

Each person inside that plane has his emotions - some extreme, as from a current incident-some submerged.. then his deeds, his past, his destiny and so many indiscernible aspects of mind that are always tied on to him. Considering the number of passengers inside that flight, it makes a multimagnitude of human psychology high up in sky. Still each one of them not really intruding into yet another's universe making it an orderly placed orientation of human psychological coordinates in air, in motion.

Thinking about it, even inside a car, when we are on the move, doesn't the few square feets of metal hold a small universe in itself? It holds your immediate needs, your past, your dreams, your sins, what others think about you, their faith in you, their fear for you... it holds everything attached to you. The car in itself reflects its history and its life through everyday of its existance. It wraps inside it a history of invention, invention of metals, invention of wheel, invention of automobile, toil by labourers, sacrifices made by them, business of the manufacturer, the economy, the one labourer who died while he was working on this car, his soul, his unfulfilled dreams and many events which we cannot even comprehend it to be linked to. Even the least complicated non living existence associated with us will have a history, present and aspirations attached with it. This constantly evolves and changes with time thus making it as dynamic as any other living entity.

During the existance of our physical self, we are brushing constantly with these external packets of universe which breathes life in itself. Many a time, when we move around, we feel we are the centre of the machinary and rest of the world is just a background. This is a fallacy. We need to be able to see ourselves as just one among the other small packets of universe. We just happened to be here in this moment which is just a fractional point on an axis of eons...

ore njaapagam

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILXf0hbauA4

a beautiful song from the Tamil movie Minnale

iru vizhi unathe
imaigalum unathe
kanavukal matrum
enathe enathe
the two eyes were yours
the eye lashes were yours too
but the dreams, they were mine

naatkal neeluthe
nee engo ponathum
een dandanai
naan inge vaazhvathum
the days are so long once you left
living - is a torture for me now

ore njaapakam,
oree njaapakam
your memories.. always your memories

kaathal kaayam nerambothe
thookkam indre yethe
oree njaapagam oree njaapagam
how can i even sleep now
when this love is hurting me..
your memories... always your memories...

on the shores of life

Was a reclusive day.. lost in thoughts for there were enough reasons of late. Life is so different each day. The shores of life battered by waves of sadness and happiness. At times, it is so weird. Before life can even take time out and smile at a wave of happiness, there would be another devastating wave of sadness which would come and change the shore for ever..

But life still has the duty to be receptive, to welcome days and the moments which are going to arrive however determined your soul is to remain footed with what you have at present. It is in accepting this change that lies the true meaning of life. Once we accept that life was never meant to be a bed of roses and once we start seeing those devastating waves as challenges, life suddenly becomes something more vibrant and it ceases to become the passive shore that it used to be. It becomes more of a counter force which plays with these waves, which laughs and giggles at the waves of happiness and which bravely fights the devastating waves of sadness.

They say, there is an advantage of being a pessimist. Either you would always be proved right or will be pleasantly surprised! I would still try to see myself on the brighter side of things even if I am constantly and painfully proved wrong again and again. Hope is a big word. Even if the crash at the end of living through the period of hope is painful, the optimist in me will starve untill I keep the tender glass inside me filled with hope..